Reading through scraps and snippets of writings and musings throughout the years has left me melancholy. So many of the same feelings emerge after so many situations; so different, yet often so similar. I am left feeling rather stupid. I have always fancied myself a fairly intelligent person. This potential misconception has led me to a quest for self discovery.

The first gate I run through as my world falls apart around me. I approach the second gate and timidly look in the mirror, I do not run away; I also do not pass through. I am caught. I am stuck in the middle.

I am so much happier without the constant reminder of my inadequacies that my ex-partner made so clear. I am also frozen in the reflection of the stranger looking back at me. With so many options and directions in front of me I am stuck. Here. In the middle of my re- self definition.

For half of my life I have been defined as a doting wife and mother. Now I am left with nothing but questions about who I am without my family. Who am I by myself? I was not ready for that question. Thus, I stand in front of the mirror; frozen in place.